Why me? Why would God want to use me? I mean, there are so many other more qualified people out there. There are people who have gone to college for Bible theology and know the ancient language. People who know how to piece it all together and weave it for others so it makes sense. And then I read all about Jacob and I think, man, why Jacob? What in the world was God thinking when he chose these people to be HIS people? Surely out of all the people in the earth - there had to be better ones out there to represent HIM? These people never get it right. In today’s chapters Jacob’s sons retaliate and wipe out a while city because their sister was raped. What does Jacob do? He tells them that “You have brought trouble on me by making me stink to the inhabitants of the land, the Canaanites and the Perizites. My numbers are few and if they gather themselves against me I shall be destroyed, both I and my household.” ( 34:30-31) Wait, what? All he can think about right now is himself? His daughter was just raped (and he knew about it and waited for his sons to take care of it. And when they did, he was only worried about himself. )Hmmm - nope, hasn’t grown up yet. He didn’t think that God was protecting him and making him a nation - how quickly he forgot! And then the disrespect he shows. 35:4 “So they gave to Jacob all their foreign gods that they had and Jacob hid them under the terebinth tree that was near Shechem.” Ok, so he hasn’t forbidden worship of foreign gods and he didn’t destroy them - hmmmm.
Then I am reminded again of God both there and in my own life - it’s not about me and what I bring to the table. It’s about God and what He is doing through me!! It’s about what God did through that nation, as screwed up as they were. I serve an amazing God who is working in me and changing lives through me as he changes mine. I don’t have to be perfect - AND NEITHER DO YOU. “Trust and obey, for there’s no other way; to be happy in Jesus than to Trust and Obey”. We walk by faith and not by sight, trusting the God of creation to continue to work through us. Because if He waited on us to get all of our crap together, nothing would ever happen; and there is work to be done!